I believe there are many pathways to developing a more passionate connection with life.

I spent a lot of time in my early life figuring out who I needed to be to receive love and attention. I learned that closeness equals sameness and that having a relationship with others matters more than having a relationship with the self.

I’ve spent my adult life getting in touch with what I truly feel and believe, getting out of my head and stepping into my life—saying the thing I was prohibited from saying, being in the anger that comes with being constricted or given crumbs, claiming the big juicy loving relationships, quitting the jobs that weren’t right, and severing the inauthentic ties. I am a true rule breaker, using the power that I formerly denied my wounds with to make changes in my life and for those I care about the most—speaking out against what went wrong for me and against racial and gender-based injustice.

I am deep into a journey of learning how to become the love of my life and commit my energy to developing intimate and beautiful bonds with my clients, my family, and my community.

When one is afraid, self-exploration is impossible.

A healthy and loving relationship is fostered through an emotional bond that answers our basic need for a safe haven—a secure launching point to leap out of our heads and into our lives. Therapy works because we do it together:

Healing happens in connection, pain thrives in isolation

Being real is hard.

Many of us, based on the social identities we live in and how safe we are to be our truest selves, have had to make ourselves small to survive. As a result, we tell ourselves stories that help us live with this smallness—“I am underserving, love isn’t for me, I’ll feel lonely forever, I don’t belong, I am too big, etc.” These internalized oppressive beliefs have kept us coloring inside the lines, following rules that weren’t meant for us instead of being our baddass selves.

As an Italian-American with a big heart, curious mind, and rebel spirit, my style is radically authentic, deeply loving, and bold. I aim to attune to you, to know you, to hold a mirror up to you, to hold your hand (literally and figuratively) as we stare into the shadows of your truth.

I believe when we develop links to others, we mend the disconnections within ourselves. And yet for many legitimate reasons, closeness (platonic, romantic and sexual) is fraught with complication, struggle and hurt—for many of us “love” got overdubbed with exploitation, criticism, and neglect. I will support you in stating “I want the whole pie, no more crumbs” in your own way and your own voice and I will cheer you on as you devour it.

I meet you humbly and hopefully in this hungry place, a site of courage and endless possibility.

Relationship+Therapist+NYC+Lia+Love+Avellino

With the middle name “Love,” Lia was destined to seek connection.

She has done so in a variety of capacities including as a licensed clinical social worker & psychotherapist, a writer and commentator, and a community organizer implementing population-based interventions.

Lia is a Columbia-University trained feminist psychotherapist who specializes in caring for women, mothers, and individuals looking to break out of molds that don't serve them. She has committed her professional life to bringing the science and ethos of therapy out of the clinical realm and into community spaces. In her roles as the Advisor of Head and Heart at The Well, relationship columnist for Well + Good, motherhood columnist for mindbodygreen, facilitator and media commentator, she uses experiential learning frameworks to empower people to work through issues that are meaningful to them.

She has received awards for innovative research and excellence in the provision of therapeutic care to underserved populations, while managing a national component of President Obama’s initiative to reduce teen pregnancy across the nation. Her writing and commentary has been featured in GLAMOUR magazine, The American Journal of Sexuality Education, Best Life, ABC’s The Tamron Hall Show, Cosmopolitan, Bumble’s The Buzz, Men’s Health, CNBCs MakeIt, Motherly and more.

Lia supports the goals of individuals from diverse gendered, sexual, racial, class grouping, and cultural identities. She provides guidance on specific issues such as: how to have difficult conversations, how to maximize the online dating experience, and how to effectively and inclusively educate teens about sex and sexuality.